When You Make That Epic Present Fail

It’s coming up to that time of year again, the one where I manage to make yet another extortionate cock up regarding the girls birthday presents! Looking back on a few of my epic present fails, I realise I’m either hopeless at knowing my own children, or my kids just get so much these days that they have no appreciation for new things.

Last year I bought them what I thought was their dream gift, a Princess castle for Mookin and a Barbie house for Monkey. Monkey spent the whole day complaining that Mookins castle was bigger than her house, regardless of the fact Mookin wasn’t the slightest bit interested in it after approximately five seconds.


The Christmas before I bought them a dolls house, on the basis that it was what they always opted to play with at our local tumble tots. Again, the novelty wore off pretty quickly. The doll’s house was left derelict within days, with boarded up windows, a skip in the drive and an old Lego man claiming squatter’s rights! (I still can’t get him out!)

On their third birthday, I really outdid myself and went all out with a Little Tikes country cottage. I set it up in the garden the night before when the girls had gone to bed, so it would be a big surprise when they came downstairs the next morning. I was so excited when the day came and the girl’s reaction was definitely priceless… “Arghhhhh spiders!” they yelled. Actually, I lie, it wasn’t priceless, it cost me a few hundred quid!

DAMN those spiders!

This year they both want an iPad mini! (Well don’t we all?) Unfortunately, this mummy’s purse strings do not extend to her having her own iPad, so I sure as hell will not be fulfilling this request. What I have settled for is a poor man’s iPad, the Tesco’s Hudl! I have even been thrifty enough to save myself £££’s by buying them off eBay, (from a reputable online shop of course.)

That way this year, if they decided after an hour that it’s not the right present for them, I can be safe in the knowledge that I saved myself a small fortune… Then borrow said Hudl’s to Google local child adoption agencies.

When did kids become so materialistic?


I’ve been told in the past, that my great grandparents would have been thrilled with a piece of coal for the fire to keep them warm. That my grandparents would have been happy with a small orange (it was wartime afterall.) Apparently, my parents were delighted with a peg made into a dolly or a battered tin car (or so they tell me.) And I was just happy to get some clothes that my mother hadn’t handmade and that didn’t make me look like I’d stepped out of a 70’s Laura Ashley catalogue.

However, my five year olds are not going to be happy unless they have an iPad! Thankfully, they are not of an age where they will read the box and will hopefully just look at the pictures instead! I think I might be able to get at least two years use out of the Hudl’s, before the kids realise they have been seriously diddled! By which point I am hoping it will be loaded with various “important” apps that they don’t want to lose.

Thankfully, I’m not the only one who has had epic present fails. A friend and her husband bought their four year old son a go-kart last year for his birthday. Now granted his father is quite high up in a local F1 team and probably fancies his little boy as the next Jenson Button. However, it’s been used once due to it being classed as “too noisy” and has sat in the garage ever since!

I’m pretty sure we are not alone! If you have any epic present fails I would love to hear about them. If nothing else it will make me feel a lot better!



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